I believe the nature of music is spiritual. Certain songs transform your soul. It’s as if the music and lyrics gently massage your broken heart and spirit leaving you feeling like you can do almost anything.
Looking back, the songs that pulled me through turbulent times ended up being theme songs for what I wanted my life to be like. They helped me pick myself up, take action, and focus on a brighter future. Music helped me hold onto my faith in God which saved my life.
In November 2004, the darkness crept into my life again. The only friend I had nearby, who was married and like a brother to me, made a pass at me knowing that I was a survivor of childhood sexual violence. Suicidal thoughts started creeping in again. I was living at the YMCA in Chicago’s Gold Coast in a room the size of a large walk-in closet and working as a security guard in a River North condo building where a resident was trying to get me fired for doing my job.
My life was miserable, but by the grace of God, I persevered. The darkness overcame me many times back then, but I kept holding on to my faith in God and I wouldn’t let go. I couldn’t afford an iPod or an Internet connection, so I listened to the radio a lot. In 2005, Kelly Clarkson’s song “Breakaway” was still popular and became my theme song. Whenever I heard “Breakaway,” it catapulted me over the rainbow.
Today, I am a happy and peaceful person. Every sexual violence survivor deserves to live a happy and peaceful life. You might not feel like it, but you are in control of your life. You and God, Nature, or whatever you call your higher power. Together you can do anything.
What’s the song that makes your spirit soar and how can you let it transform you?